Sunday, August 19, 2007

Is this the one

For nearly two years, my husband M and I have been trying to have a baby. I have PCOS and he has a borderline low sperm count. Two strikes against us makes it a lot harder to have the baby we both desire with all our hearts. This cycle we started out taking 200 mgs of Clomid, my highest dose to date. On cd 17, we had an IUI. Starting that night and continuing for 5 more days, I experienced ovulation pains. This is also a first for me. Now here I am 12 dpo, my temp is still up and I find myself hoping that this is the cycle I will become pregnant. In the past, my temp begins to fall between 11 and 12 dpo. With today being 12 dpo and still being up, I have worked myself into a complete frenzy. All weekend, I've had such a hard time sleeping. I find myself getting more and more nervous as it gets closer to me finding out if I'm actually pregnant this time. I've made myself sick today. My stomach is so upset with nerves, I had to buy a hpt and take it. Of course it was negative, but I'm not worried. It's still early. Plus my nipples have become sore today (which is not a normal pms symptom for me). I'm never going to be able to sleep tonight. As strange as it sounds, I find myself being nervous that I'm not pregnant, but I'm just as nervous because I could be pregnant. I've been working for this for the past two years, but now I'm wondering am I ready? If I am finally pg, how am I going to tell my hubby? When do I tell the rest of the family? I'm so scared of miscarriage that I'm thinking I'm not going to tell everyone until the second trimester. But now once again, I'm over analyzing. I don't even know if I'm pregnant yet. This is going to be the longest 3 days of my life......

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